Well•come, kin. Pause, and take a deep, calming breath with me. In… and out… As you breathe, remind yourself of your innate wisdom and wholeness. With each breath—be here. Fully present, as we embark on this journey together.
|
|
|
LaShaun
Certified behavior analyst, founding former Director of The University of South Florida’s (USF) Wellness Resource Center, Founder of GLOW Women’s Gathering with credentials in Neuroscience for Business from MIT Sloan.
|
Comparison can be a thieving thing…and coming for your joy is just the beginning! You know this. We’ve all heard it a gazillion times. And yet, how easy it is to slip into that quiet, unseen space where you measure your worth by someone else’s (perceived!) milestones.
“why-not-me’s, “what-ifs” and “if-onlys,” I’ve been in that entangled web. You?
We’re nearing the end of the year, and maybe—just maybe—you’re feeling the gentle weight of unmet expectations. Maybe you didn’t hit that goal, or maybe you hit it, and the satisfaction evaporated quicker than you expected. I get it. But here’s the thing: what if right now you embraced that you are enough?
The path isn’t linear, nor is it meant to be. Some days you’re climbing, others, you’re rooted, and sometimes—let’s be real—you feel like you’re backtracking. But whether you’re in full bloom or in what feels like a barren season, there is beauty in exactly where you are. And I do mean exactly.
Take me, for example. There was a time I felt stuck, as if the entire cosmos hit pause while everyone else fast-forwarded —and there I was, unable to even write a decent email without second-guessing every. single. word. It felt like swimming through metaphorical peanut butter. But here’s what I didn’t know then: those seasons of slow growth, the ones that feel like nothing’s happening? They’re the exact ones that prepare you for what’s next when you’re focusing on your next, not someone else’s.
Your path is yours alone, you are a singular masterpiece in the making, Reader.
When you compare yourself to Jessica, Dawn or LaJuana, you’re missing out on your-own-self.
Your journey. Your pace. Your story.
Unfolding beautifully. Step by step.
Day by day. As only you can.
But what if, instead of scanning someone else’s highlight reel, you turned inward? Not in some grand existential way, but in the everyday, lived moments—where you’re bettering your own best.
Better your own best. There’s power in those three little words. Because it’s yours—your journey, your growth, your unfolding story. And isn’t that enough?
The more you focus on bettering your own best, the more comparison becomes an afterthought—and you reclaim the joy that was always yours.
You’re evolving, every day. This isn’t just some cutesy saying. There’s actual science to back it up.
Network neuroscience suggests that your brain is constantly rewiring as you learn, grow, and adapt to life’s demands. Positive psychology shows that focusing on your own progress—rather than others’—builds resilience and enhances well-being. So when you stop competing and start embracing your own evolution, you’re doing more than just “feeling better”—you’re literally rewiring your brain for success. Woosah!
Recent research in positive psychology supports this approach. A 2022 study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that individuals who focused on personal growth rather than social comparison reported higher levels of life satisfaction and well-being (Smith et al., 2022).
So, how do we cultivate this self-focused growth mindset?
- Embrace Your Quirks
Those little idiosyncrasies? They’re your superpowers in disguise. That habit of talking to your plants? It’s not weird; it’s wonderfully you.
- Celebrate Your Small Wins
Did you make your bed this morning? Huzzah! Every step forward, no matter how tiny, is a victory worth savoring.
- Reframe Your Setbacks
When life throws you a curveball, catch it and transmute it into something else. Failures are just plot twists in your hero’s journey.
- Practice Radical Self-Compassion
Treat yourself like you would someone you adore – with kindness + understanding (and maybe a sit and sip of something warm—with honey).
Let’s energy check comparison, shall we?
We view comparison as a cluster of joy-thieving and self-abandonment. Comparison, when approached mindfully, can be a powerful tool for growth. It’s not about measuring up to others, but about understanding yourself more deeply.
Comparison reveals that you’ve momentarily forgotten your uniqueness—that your journey, with all its winding turns and stumbles, is irreplaceable. It shows you the gap between who you are and who you think you should be, reminding you to come back to yourself, to measure your growth by your own evolving standard, not someone else’s timeline.
When you compare, you reveal what truly matters to you. Is it success, creativity, or relationships? Your comparison is a compass pointing to your deepest desires and illuminates your values.
Comparison shows you that you’re craving acknowledgment—either from yourself or others—that you are enough just as you are, in this exact moment. It’s an invitation to reclaim your sense of self-worth, to better your own best, and to rewrite your inner narrative.
Imagine a world where your only competition is a former version of yourself. Delicious possibility, isn’t it?
So, the next time you find yourself caught in the comparison trap, pause: imagine me placing both my hands on your shoulder, looking you in your eyes, and telling you straight:
You are unfolding beautifully.
And you don’t need to side glance at your sisterfriend to compare or validate that. There’s something sacred about who you are. And that’s where the magic lives. So keep watering yourself with patience. Something will bloom. You always do.
Now, let’s take some belly breaths together.
Better your own best. You’ve already won.
If anything you’ve read here has been resonant, nourishing or of service to you in a meaningful way, please do, share this email series using your special link below. I appreciate your reciprocity.
Your unique referral link:
In sharing, you contribute to a bigger picture – a world pulsating with well-being and wholeness. I’m grateful for you!
Here are more ways I can support you.
- Feedback, love notes, and other inquiries? Just hit reply
- Want me to give a talk at your event or with your team? Workshops, consulting + speaking inquiries, apply here.
P.S. In the end, the most exquisite growth happens not when we’re striving to be better than others, but when we’re becoming the best, most authentic version of ourselves. And that, m’dear, is a journey worth every stumble, every triumph, and every beautifully imperfect moment in between.
