Well•come, kin. Pause, and take a deep, calming breath with me. In… and out… As you breathe, remind yourself of your innate wisdom and wholeness. With each breath—be here. Fully present, as we embark on this journey together.

LaShaun Certified behavior analyst, founding former Director of The University of South Florida’s (USF) Wellness Resource Center, Founder of GLOW Women’s Gathering with credentials in Neuroscience for Business from MIT Sloan.

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Guilt tripping
How to sit with guilt: a writing practice
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Peace ya’ll.
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Hang with me if you can. We’re talking about it…
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Guilt.
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It sneaks in when you’re not watching, wraps around your soul like ivy—slow-growing, insidious.
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Guilt has had many faces in my life over the years:
healthy guilt
parental guilt
survivor’s guilt
‘glow-up’ guilt
existential guilt
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​But, I consciously expand myself by spending time with my guilt: as wholeness is a whole matter, it includes our light + our shadow.

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True self-love accepts the hard-to-love, uncomfortable aspects of who you are, rather than conditionally tolerating them in hopes they’ll improve. Anything less is self-deception masquerading as acceptance.
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But, let’s not romanticize it—guilt can be the rust that erodes our joy. guilt impacts our sleep, increases anxiety, and contributes to gastrointestinal disorders and cardiovascular disease.
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​*It’s important to note that while healthy guilt can be constructive, persistent or excessive guilt may indicate underlying mental health issues and might require professional support. If you suffer from chronic, persistent, guilt, you deserve the support you need to dismantle it. ​
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Whether it’s the guilt of hurting someone you love, of surviving a hurricane when others didn’t fare well, or guilt for craving that long-overdue creative leap in your business, it’s there.
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When my three lovely children were young; I parented alone for a few seasons. One time, I was so tired that hired a sitter so that I could take a nap. It took me eras to dismantle that guilty feeling.
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Big idea: guilt doesn’t have to be the enemy.
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Because, paradoxically, this “quintessential moral emotion” forms the bedrock of our conscience, guiding us toward ethical behavior. The challenge lies not in eradicating guilt, but in harnessing it constructively.​
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Some of us want to know, how can you run away from it? A truth: you can’t. you won’t. Guilt is part of the human experience. Healthy guilt serves an essential purpose—it helps us evaluate our actions and their impact on those we care about. It encourages us to make amends when necessary and motivates ethical behavior.
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How can you tell the difference between healthy guilt and unhealthy guilt? Healthy guilt propels us forward; unhealthy guilt keeps us stuck.
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​To differentiate, ask yourself: Is this guilt motivating positive change, or is it paralyzing me?
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Recent research in positive psychology suggests that individuals who can distinguish between these types of guilt show greater emotional resilience and life satisfaction. They’re able to use guilt as a tool for growth rather than a weapon of self-destruction.
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So, how do we face healthy guilt? You sit with it. You don’t run from it.

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Research from psychology shows that expressive writing (pen to paper, not keyboard) brings guilt out of its shadows into something you can actually examine, dissect, and learn from. Positive psychology researchers suggest this not only brings emotional relief but allows guilt to evolve into a deeper understanding of self-worth and action-oriented change.
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The guilt, the fear, the self-doubt—they’re all part of the journey. Transformation begins not with escape, but with the radical acceptance of what is.
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So, how do we alchemize this emotion? Start by giving your guilt a voice. Write it out, in longhand. Feel the pen scratch against paper as you excavate your deepest fears and regrets. This isn’t just catharsis; it’s neuroscience in action. The physical act of writing activates neural pathways that typing simply can’t touch, creating new connections and insights.

There is evidence-based support for dealing with guilt through writing, here’s a practice.

Engage in expressive writing sessions 3-4 times per week for about 15-20 minutes each session. This frequency is consistent with the findings of Pennebaker and others, showing optimal benefits from regular, but not excessive, writing.

Choose a quiet, private space where you feel comfortable expressing yourself freely without interruption. This environment helps facilitate emotional disclosure.
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Writing Process

1. Emotional Preparation

Before writing, take a few deep breaths and center yourself. Acknowledge that you’re creating a safe space to explore your feelings of guilt.

2. Free Writing

Start with a brief period of free writing to warm up. This can help overcome initial hesitation and access deeper emotions.

3. Focused Exploration

Move into a more focused exploration of your guilt:

• Describe the specific situation or event causing guilt
• Express your thoughts and feelings about it in detail
• Explore potential reasons for your guilt
• Consider the perspectives of others involved
• Reflect on how the guilt is affecting your life

4. Cognitive Reframing

In the latter part of your writing session, attempt to reframe the situation:

• Identify any irrational thoughts contributing to your guilt
• Consider alternative perspectives or interpretations
• Explore what you’ve learned from the experience
• Write about how you might handle similar situations in the future

5. Self-Compassion

End each session by writing a brief self-compassionate statement. This can help counteract shame and promote self-forgiveness5.
​Follow-up and Integration

Reflection

After each writing session, take a moment to reflect on how you feel. Notice any shifts in your perspective or emotional state.

Action Steps

If appropriate, write down any actions you feel compelled to take as a result of your insights. This can help transmute guilt into constructive behavior.

Review

Periodically review your writings to track patterns and progress over time. This can provide valuable insights into your emotional processing.

Important Considerations

• Maintain confidentiality in your writings to ensure uninhibited expression.
• If you find yourself becoming overwhelmed, take breaks or seek professional support.
• Remember that the goal is not to eliminate guilt entirely, but to process it healthily and learn from it.

By following this evidence-based writing approach, you can create a writing practice that aligns with evidence-based methods for processing guilt, promoting emotional expression, and fostering personal growth.
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Want to delve into the research?

Frattaroli, J. (2006). Experimental disclosure and its moderators: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 132(6), 823.

Niles, A. N., Haltom, K. E. B., Mulvenna, C. M., Lieberman, M. D., & Stanton, A. L. (2014). Randomized controlled trial of expressive writing for psychological and physical health: The moderating role of emotional expressivity. Anxiety, Stress & Coping, 27(1), 1-17.

Pennebaker, J.W., & Beall, S.K. (1986). Confronting a traumatic event: Toward an understanding of inhibition and disease. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 95(3), 274281. doi:10.1037/0021-843X.95.3.274

Pennebaker, J. W. (2010). Expressive writing in a clinical setting. The Independent Practitioner, 30, 23-25.

Rodriguez, L. M., Young, C. M., Neighbors, C., Campbell, M. T., & Lu, Q. (2015). Evaluating guilt and shame in an expressive writing alcohol intervention. Alcohol, 49(5), 491-498.
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P.S. Remember, you’re not seeking a guilt-free existence. You’re aiming for a life where guilt serves you, not the other way around. It’s a subtle shift, but it’s the difference between being tripped up by your emotions or steering them towards your evolution.