Well•come, kin. Pause, and take a deep, calming breath with me. In… and out… As you breathe, remind yourself of your innate wisdom and wholeness. With each breath—be here. Fully present, as we embark on this journey together.

LaShaun Certified behavior analyst, founding former Director of The University of South Florida’s (USF) Wellness Resource Center, Founder of GLOW Women’s Gathering with credentials in Neuroscience for Business from MIT Sloan.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone asks, “Who are you, what do you do?” It’s a question that feels a little prickly, doesn’t it? A box they want to put you in.

I usually toss out something sparkly like, “I’m an aspiring beam of light,” or maybe I’ll say, “I am is… and my career is…” But let’s be honest—what they’re really asking is: Who do you think you are?​
​
There’s a peculiar sting in that question. Maybe you’ve felt it too. Asked by a teacher, a parent, or someone at a networking event. Sometimes it comes dressed in curiosity; other times, in scorn. Either way, it lands heavily because the answer matters. And because—let’s be real—we’re still figuring it out.
​
Here’s the thing: we tend to (mis)identify ourselves in ways that shrink us. We say things like:

• I am my job. (But you’re not.)
• I am my body. (You’re more than that.)
• I am my achievements or failures. (Definitely not.)

Other examples of Mis-Identification:

Beliefs

“I’m insightful and wise.”
“I suffer from imposter syndrome.”
“I’m not creative.”
“I’m resilient and resourceful.”

Rules

“I must always help others, no matter the cost.”
“I shouldn’t cry in front of people.”
“I should treat myself with kindness.”
“I must strive for perfection.”

Possessions

“I’m successful because I own a luxury car.”
“I’m behind in life because I don’t own a house.”
“I’m proud of my garden—it’s a sanctuary.”
“I’m defined by my cluttered space.”

Performance

“I’m valued because I exceed expectations.”
“I’m a failure because I didn’t get the promotion.”
“I’m proud of how I improve daily.”
“I feel unworthy when I don’t perform well.”

Job

“I’m a lawyer; it defines my success.”
“I’m just a cashier—it’s not impressive.”
“I’m an entrepreneur/executive.”
“I’m doing meaningful work as a teacher.”
“I’m embarrassed by my career choices.”

Opinion

“I’m smart because I hold the correct viewpoint.”
“I’m always wrong, so I keep quiet.”
“My perspective adds value to conversations.”
“No one cares what I think.”

Group Memberships

“I’m a die-hard Chicago Bulls fan.”
“I’m a member of this greek letter organization, so I belong.”
“I’m an outsider—I don’t fit anywhere.” ”
“I’m proud to be part of my community.”
“I’m disconnected from any groups.”

Appearance

“I’m confident because I look attractive today.”
“I’m ashamed of my body.”
“I love my unique features.”
“I’m judged because I don’t fit society’s standards.”

…and the pendulum can swing between between faux empowering and limiting (mis)identification.
​
We go through life collecting these identities like kids picking up shiny rocks—careers, beliefs, Instagram bios—turning them over and deciding, “Yes, this is me.” Or worse, “This is all of me?!?!” And that’s where the trouble begins. When we compress our infinite essence into tidy labels, we forget. We forget the vastness. The divinity. The unbreakable thread connecting us to something so much larger than what we do or own or believe.
​
They handed you these labels—sticky little lies dressed up as “little-t” truths—and expected you to wear them like a uniform.

But here’s the thing they never told you: you can peel off every label, rewrite every story, redraw every line. You are not their projections or their opinions. You are not your wounds, nor your wins.
​
You are vast.
Uncontainable.
A luminous being, whole and holy.

Misconceptions are the offspring of misidentification—born when we mistake the surface for the source, the fleeting for the eternal.
​
At their core, misconceptions are mental mirages, distortions of reality shaped by incomplete understanding. They act like cracked lenses, warping the way we perceive ourselves, others, and the world. And yet, they don’t just exist in the mind; they ripple outward, influencing how we behave, what we believe is possible, and what we inadvertently create.
​(Write that down. Scribble it in the margins of your heart. Let it simmer, steep, and stay.)​
​
Misconceptions are recursive. They don’t exist in isolation but instead, feed on and reinforce one another. For instance:

1. Misidentifying Self: “I am my failures” can lead to…
2. Misunderstanding Reality: “The world is against me,” which reinforces…
3. Misdirected Action: “There’s no point in trying.”

This cycle spirals into a feedback loop, where the misconception becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The mind clings to its flawed constructs, seeking evidence to validate them, even at the expense of the truth.

But here’s the thing about misconceptions: they’re fragile. They depend on your belief in their solidity. Once you step back—zoom out—and question the narrative, the cracks in their foundation begin to show.
​
It’s the false belief that you are limited to your personality, your body, your career, your nationality, your reputation—or even your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. It’s reducing yourself to this constructed idea of “me.”
​
This journey isn’t about accumulating more labels, but peeling them away to reveal your luminous core beneath.

​

Network neuroscience agrees. A 2021 study showed that when we anchor our sense of self in static roles or possessions, the default mode network—the brain’s storytelling factory—loops us into rumination and dissatisfaction.
​
Meanwhile, positive psychology reminds us that true well-being emerges when we transcend the self-narrative and connect to something bigger: meaning, love, purpose. (In case you need receipts: Fredrickson et al., 2022; Barrett, 2023.)
​
You can break the loop.

The antidote to misconception isn’t opposition; it’s curiosity. Ask:

• “Where did this belief come from?”
• “Is this universally true?”
• “Who am I beyond this?”

When we unhook from misconceptions, we begin to see reality—not as we feared it to be, but as it is: expansive + full of possibility. This is liberation from misidentification.

In essence: Misconceptions are not your enemy—they’re invitations to uncover the truth. They are the mental shadows that remind us light is nearby.

____
​
But let’s get specific. Let’s talk about you.

Are you the mom making dinosaur-shaped sandwiches at 7 a.m.? Yes—and no.

Are you the CEO who splishes coffee on her pristine blazer before a pitch? Yes—and no.

Are you the one “spilling tea” at midnight with your bestie over tea? Yes—and no.
​
You are all of it and none of it. You are not the sum of your mistakes, your achievements, your 401(k), or your number of unread emails. You are a divine, radiant, eternally loving presence playing the role of “you” in this lifetime.

Try this. Picture yourself as the sky. No, really try it. Close your eyes. Imagine your vastness. Your stillness. Now imagine a storm rolling in—pain, fear, insecurity, society’s flavor of the day. The storm is not you. It never was. It’s weather. Temporary. Ephemeral. You? You are an unshakable sky. Always.

Last week, I caught myself mid-misidentification. Staring in the mirror, dissecting imaginary flaws, letting my society-induced inner critic run wild.
​
​Then it hit me: “I am not this fleeting thought.” ​
​
(I laughed out loud. Loud enough to scare my daughter’s cat—who bolted under the sofa, judgmental tail swishing).
​
And in that laugh, I remembered. My job? My hair? My quirks? My so-called status in society? They’re just (mis)identification, not my true nature.

So here’s your invitation: The next time someone asks, ‘Who are you?’—or worse, tries to dictate who you are— Pause. Maybe you’ll answer with the usual: ‘I’m a consultant, a writer, a dancer, a whatever.”
​
But deep down, remember this simmering truth: You’re stardust. Love with a heartbeat. You are the infinite sky. And everything else? Just passing weather.

If anything you’ve read here has been resonant, nourishing or of service to you in a meaningful way, please do, share this email series using your special link below. I appreciate your reciprocity.
​
Your unique referral link:

In sharing, you contribute to a bigger picture – a world pulsating with well-being and wholeness. I’m grateful for you!

Here are more ways I can support you.

• Feedback, love notes, and other inquiries? Just hit reply
• Want me to give a talk at your event or with your team? Workshops, consulting + speaking inquiries, apply here.​

P.S. So, who do you know you are? Whisper it. Shout it. Live it. Your spirit knows.